Our fleet
Premium Funerals
For The Wealthy Or Generally Ostentatious
vicars_animated
Tenpasenta Church home
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Making life's final journey better than other people's

LUXURY FLEET

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More tea vicar?
Like most funeral directors, we use upmarket limousines for that final journey, I guess it's because the bereaved like to see what they are paying for, and we like driving big luxury cars.
All of our vehicles are guaranteed to smell of polish, mainly because we spend more time cleaning them than we do using them.
Our hearse service is ideal if you wanted to drive the coffin past your house and impress the neighbours, it's your money so drive the coffin where you like within reason.
We have an additional silver fleet, ideal for those not wanting that traditional black look for their funeral, after all, not everybody is upset to see some people dead, and this could be just the option to demonstrate this, balloons and bunting extra.
We don't have a pink hearse available and never will, if that notion had crossed your mind when arranging a funeral you've come to the wrong place, you may even need serious psychiatric help.
Private ambulance Southampton
   
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FLASHY MOTORS
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Jaguar Hearse xj8 Jaguar hearse xj
Jaguar hearse silver
luxury car brands Jaguar xj hearse on lawn luxury Hearse Brands
XJ8 Hearse outside Premium church Southampton

ROLLS ROYCE HEARSE

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We have 40 silver Rolls Royce limos and hearses knocking around if you like that Gypsy king corthge look.
Contact us for prices, the price quoted may vary depending on petrol prices on the day.
Rolls Royce Hearse

FERRARI HEARSE

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Ferrari Funeral logo
Ferrari Funeral Ferrari Hearse Ferrari Funeral
Ferrari Hearse Red 360
Why not try our limited edition Ferrari hearse if you're in a hurry.
Call now for details of maximum coffin sizes and distances that we are prepared to travel from our base here in Southampton.
Prices start at only £499 per hour.
Jaguar R hearse logo Jaguar F-Type Hearse
Due in stocknthis September! Book early to avoid the rush
R.I.P.
   
 
SAVILE CAR
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Jimmy Savile's Rolls Royce Flamboyant show business personality Sir Jimmy of Savile is known for his stylish cars and love of handling the deceased as part of his charity work.
We are now pleased to offer a Rolls Royce he once owned for use in your funeral corthge, with its colourful history it will make a thrilling addition to your luxurious Premium Tenpasenta funeral.
£99 per hour.
Jimmy Savile's Rolls Royce
     
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HORSE DRAWN
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Horse drawn hearse It is with great sadness that due to an accident in our yard (caused by a careless driver from Currys delivering designer urns) we have been forced to withdraw our horse-drawn hearse until further notice.
Single black horse for sale to a good home or local meat rendering plant, call for details.
Dead horse already processed.
Horse dead hearse
Tenpasenta Church
   
 
UPDATE
rent a horse drawn hearse Great news for
lovers of horse
drawn hearses
As from August 2019, we will be offering a horse-drawn hearse option once again. We have negotiated a nice deal with a local funeral director who is dying on its arse, they have agreed to hire to order this great option, just for you!
£9,999 will get you a 2hp hearse for 10 hours, it's great for your dearly departed, great for their mourners who like to pat the horses, it's great for us as we can offer this great option again, and it's great for our rival who can now afford to feed these hungry animals and save them from the knackers yard.
NEWS
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Mercedes Hearse crashed Unfortunately, one of our older Mercedes hearses was involved in an incident in June. Although at first look it doesn'tt look that serious police confirmed that there was one passenger found dead at the scene.
The cause of the accident is still in debate with our insurers, we feel it was due to weather conditions at the time, and not because we were giving veteran World war two Spitfire pilot Buster Ball one last high speed run through the southern counties as requested by his bereaved family and as reported in the Daily Mail.
This means some funerals not being attended by the immediate family may be transported to the funeral service in one of our Private Ambulances until further notice.
Hearse crashed If at first, you don't succeed try try again, as our drivers like to say.
yet again another fatality at one of our incidents, ambulance crew were surprised to find the deceased both posted and embalmed, our cocky driver said that we don't hang around at Premium funerals, they didn't see the funny side, let's hope the judge next week has a sense of humour.
When we informed relatives of the accident, and that The Great Escapinio had been taken to Southampton General, they all laughed and said that he told them he could get out of anything, it appears he was correct, however, we are going to cremate him on Thursday, so that'll be a challenge.
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